A Passion and A Dream

I remember when I was little. I was watching the movie "The Baby Sitters Club" I remember seeing one girl in the movie who's character had Diabetes. There was a scene with her hiking while on a date with a boy, and she got low and needed to eat. That was the extent of any explanation of Diabetes in the movie, but I remember it caught my interest. I thought, "wow, she has diabetes!" and for some reason I took an interest in it. I didn't think about it or do anything with that interest from that point on.

Now, as an adult who manages and deals with a Diabetic husband, learning about Diabetes care and management has become a passion of mine (along with Crocheting!) I often think back to this movie and wonder if I always had this passion and maybe I just didn't realize? Why did I take an interest in that character? I don't know.

Why is it my passion today? I am a caregiver by nature. I am nurturing and caring and that comes out in Diabetes management. I strive to make sure Vince gets the best possible care and the best possible resources in order to keep up that care. I think he feeds off this as well.

I never went to college when I graduated High School. High School was difficult for me as I am not a fast learner. I had very little interest in college and had no idea what I wanted to do with my work life. Looking, back, I know what I would do. I would love to be a Diabetes Educator. I recently looked in to this field, knowing I would fly through the schooling with the knowledge I already have, but was disappointed to see that a Diabetes Educator is actually a sub category of nursing. Nursing school is expensive and is not easy. If I ever made the choice to go to school, I would definitely chose the medical field.

When I was young, I was terrified of needles, blood, and anything involving the two. I would cry for days even BEFORE I got an immunization. It's funny how people change and their fears change. I would never have guessed in a million years that I would want to go into the medical field. That it would be my "dream job" For now, I am content with working at Comcast. We have extremely good benefits and it is a very large company to feel stable in. Well, as stable as you can get nowadays in this economy.

But should the opportunity arise, I would definitely consider becoming a Diabetes Educator, or "CDE" Certified Diabetes Educator. I feel I would have a lot of compassion and understanding and be able to empathize with the patients and really be able to help educate them and help them lead a healthy Diabetic life.

It's a dream. You never know what the future holds. Maybe one day!

A Look Back

I was reading through some of my older posts and found this one:

http://lifewithadiabeticspouse.blogspot.com/2011/06/day-in-life-of-diabetics-wife-sandy.html

It is great to be able to go back and look at how things may have changed or might still be the same. I don't have the need to check in with Vince as much as I did 2 years ago in this post. He hasn't had many low episodes lately so I feel safer leaving him for longer than 2 hours without checking in. I still do my 10:00 - 11:00 AM call in the morning and then he will either text me or I will call him in the afternoon before he lays down to nap.

But as always with Diabetes, nothing is ever "under control" and if it is, it can change by the hour. So if he starts having lot's of lows again, then the calls and check ins will be a must. Taking it just one day at a time.

It's That Time Again...

It is that time again to fill a round of prescriptions.

The list this time? 15 vials of insulin, 540 muscle relaxers, 90 pills of blood pressure meds, and 90 days of asthma pills. All 90 day scripts. It's a lot. A lot of medicine and a lot of copays. This however is only SOME of his medicine. Just what happened to need refilling right now.

Most of the medication comes from our local CVS Pharmacy. I am not a fan of CVS however with our insurance, to get the best co pay price, we are forced to go there. If I hit them on a good day, the few people that know what they are doing are there and it goes smoothly. Today I called to see if everything was in stock and I got great service. It's nice when they know you AND know what they are doing LOL I will have to place a Medtronic supply order soon too. That is mail order from Medtronic directly but they are great and UPS shows up just a few days after ordering. So, here we are! Time to stock up again!

He knows, He knows

Left this morning for work. Saw a large amount of insulin on board. He said he was up earlier and had cereal. And he is sick. It made me nervous. I called him every two hours up to lunchtime. He was fine. Sometimes I forget he actually knows what he is doing. It is the fear. The fear that some days Diabetes has a mind of it's own and doesn't do what you think it will. But he was good. And so was I. Now we need to get rid of his nasty cold in his chest...

A Stubborn High

I wake up for work. Vince’s blood sugar is in the high 200’s. I know this is a stubborn high so I give him a massive bolus of 10 units. 3 hours later he is still in the mid 200’s. Diabetes has a mind of its own. Maybe it’s caused by stress this time. Maybe not. You can never quite know when it comes to Diabetes. We are doing a site change when I get home so if it doesn’t come down by then, maybe that will be the trick. Oh Diabetes, how I don’t love you.

Time For Some Fun!

I am excited to be planning a few trips in the upcoming days and months. We could really use some time to get away and relax. We haven’t been on vacation since our honeymoon, 5 ½ years ago to Las Vegas, other than a few trips to the shore.

A good friend of ours has a house in Ocean Grove, NJ. She invited us to come along for the ride one weekend and stay as short or long as we would like. It was so sweet of her to offer. She knows we could use a relaxing day and we have never been there so it sounds like it will make for an nice day. This part of the shore, she said, isn’t like the normal boardwalk and beach. It’s an older town with lots of shops and restaurants. I will have to go online and see what is there! Sounds nice! Best part is I don’t think I will have to do the driving which is a break in and of itself. I have to drive all the time when we are in the car, and sometimes I want to just put my head back and relax! It’s the little things…

Also, if plans work out, we are going to go to Tennessee to visit some family near Nashville. We don’t get to see them often so it will be great to get away for a long weekend and visit with them. We will also get to sightsee in Nashville as well! They are aware that Vince has limitations and already said whatever we need/want to do, just let them know. They are some of the sweetest people we know. We feel very comfortable visiting them knowing they will be understanding if we have to cut a day short and relax back at the house or any other inconvenience that might arise due to Vince’s limitations. We have had family in the past that were not as understanding about his limitations and inconveniences, so we are excited to visit with them knowing we will be able to fully enjoy ourselves and our time with them.

Of course there is a draw back. We are in Pennsylvania. They are in Tennessee. That means either a very long car ride or a plane ride. Although I was a frequent flyer while growing up, the older I am, the more I hate the idea. I actually avoid flying at all costs. But that leaves the car ride. Due to Vince’s Neuropathy, he can’t take long car rides. About 2 hours one way is his max and that is pushing it at that. So I will be getting myself on a plane. Again, I have flown lot’s in my day. When I was young, I lived in Texas and would visit my family in Pennsylvania multiple times a year. I flew alone each time, from the age of 10 to 17 years old. It was no big deal to me then. But as I got older, I got more scared. Vince however never had his first flight until he was about 24 or so. We went with a friend of his to Texas to visit my family and a friend they had down there. He loved it! He has only flown a handful of times since then and he still loves it. Me, not so much. We are planning our trip for November which is over 2 months away and I am already anxious, but the short flight will be worth it to see family and get away for a few days.

We haven’t flown since Vince started on his insulin pump and CGM so that will definitely be different for us. We will have to pack even more supplies than before when he was on shots. I am thinking a small suitcase will have to be used just for this purpose. I know, crazy, isn’t it? Then you have the whole security issue at the airport. When he was on shots, it was no big deal. We showed all of the supplies, medications, and needles at the security check point and they waved us right through. This time however, he will have the pump and CGM attached to his body so it won’t be as easy. Hopefully, if we plan well, it will go smoothly.

But needless to say, I am so excited to go away!!!! I can’t wait to take tons of pictures and spend a few days doing nothing but fun things!

So Here We Are...

So where are we at these days… I have been wanting to post but it has been hard to come up with the right words.

Things are relatively calm. Calm for us at least. In the D world, we are currently focusing on cutting carbs and insulin in hopes of some weight loss, but it’s a long road, as any weight loss plan is. Vince’s Endocrinologist is great though. He is so reasonable. He saw about 8 pounds of weight loss and said how about 10 more by our next visit in 3-4 months. Vince said he thought that was a good place to start. I agree. So we have been focusing on low(er) carb meals and seeing how that helps.

My anxiety has been better due to a change in medication however I still worry. I don’t think the worry will ever stop. I am human after all. And female on top of that! LOL! I have been learning to lean on my supportive friends more, one of which is very near and dear to my heart. She has been amazing. She realized I need someone to just ask me how everything is once in a while. Just knowing someone is thinking about me is a huge relief. Relief in knowing I have one more person besides my brother in law to lean on in case of an emergency. I am not one to ask for help. I feel like, I just need to do X, Y, and Z and just get it done. It’s not that hard, I think to myself. But it catches up. I get stressed. Over whelmed. Then the simple tasks seem daunting to even think about let alone doing them.

We have been working hard to build a support system and I think it is finally paying off. We have the best Therapist.  We see him every few weeks. He is a great match for the two of us. He has the same sense of humor and really gets where we are coming from. Sometimes our visits are just chatting about the Phillies and asking how we are doing. Other times, if we are having a hard time, we talk it out. He has been a great person for Vince to talk to and open up to. Vince doesn’t open up very easily. But between the therapist and his brother, Vince seems to be doing good at expressing himself. Of course, if he is quiet, I am quick to think something is wrong. Why is he quiet? What is he thinking? But I am trying to take a step back and look at the big picture to see if it’s me being overly concerned or if it is a real issue. Usually, nothing major is wrong, so I am learning. Learning how to deal with all the different stresses we have going on and learning how to lean on the people I do have instead of focusing on the people I don’t have.

“Cleaning House” is tough. I think everyone comes to a point in their life where they have to reanalyze the people in their life and who is making it better and who may be “toxic” It is a very long, sad process but sometimes you have to do it for your own happiness. I am learning to find the people in life that see us for who we are and accept us without judgment. People that want to be there for us for support and people who care if we are having a rough time. It’s a long process but I am starting to finally feel good about it.

Well that is about all the updates. Just trying to take one day at a time as usual and trying to see the positive in life as often as we can.