Note to self:
Do not dig into the Diabetes supply bag without looking unless you are ready to get stabbed viciously with a lancet. 4 days later, my poor thumb is still healing.
A few thoughts running through my mind:
I wonder how the A1C is going? I have seen some highs and some lows but I am not good at judging them in the big picture...
Vince is going to be giving a speech to a class of students. I am debating if he should silence his pump/CGM. I will be with him so I am thinking he should...
We have a new budget we are following...Is this next doctor's visit calculated in? Boy, these co pays are adding up...
Why did we get a surprise delivery from Medtronic of a new pump clip? Should I return it? Nah, we could use a spare. I wonder if we will get charged?
Vince recently visited the ER and found out he has a small kidney stone. He was told he should follow up with a urologist to be sure some of his symtoms he was expierencing were not related to something else. We went to the appointment and were pleasantly surprised to find out he was in good shape and was told to come back in 6 months. Good news for once! Whew...
Don't forget to call in that refill!!!!
I know I'm forgetting something that I need to do...
Boy, filling out the social security review paperwork is such a pain in the tush...Must they really be this detailed? This is a bit much...
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
What Was It Like Before....
What was it like before Diabetes?
What was it like before complications?
What was it like to NOT see him in pain all the time?
What was it like when I didn't hear cries from the pain from the one person that a simple cringe would break my heart each and every time?
What was it like to grab food without thinking about Vince's bolus even though I was the only one eating?
What was it like before, when I didn't know the first thing about health insurance because I didn't HAVE to?
What was it like when I first met Vince and didn't worry about his disease?
What was it like to go to work and not worry if he was alive and okay where ever he was that day because I really had no idea how dangerous this disease was?
What if you were prescribed a medication but the side effects were life threatening if you didn't take it the exact way you were supposed to, but that way changed every day? Would you take the med? Think about it. That is insulin........
What was it like before I was judged for worrying about Vince, all because people "don't get it"?
What was it like when he was working?
What was it like when he was working and I would have to coax, urge, and beg for him to pull to the side of the road or to the 7-11 to treat a low while he was driving?
What was it like before the CGM? When I was his human CGM "weak-o-meter" as I was called.
What was it like to be so scared about the glucagon needle?
What would it be like if Vince wasn't diabetic?
What would it be like to not worry about Vince if he happened to miss the phone when I called?
What would it be like without the retinopathy, neuropathy, and hypoglycemia unawareness?
What was it like before complications?
What was it like to NOT see him in pain all the time?
What was it like when I didn't hear cries from the pain from the one person that a simple cringe would break my heart each and every time?
What was it like to grab food without thinking about Vince's bolus even though I was the only one eating?
What was it like before, when I didn't know the first thing about health insurance because I didn't HAVE to?
What was it like when I first met Vince and didn't worry about his disease?
What was it like to go to work and not worry if he was alive and okay where ever he was that day because I really had no idea how dangerous this disease was?
What if you were prescribed a medication but the side effects were life threatening if you didn't take it the exact way you were supposed to, but that way changed every day? Would you take the med? Think about it. That is insulin........
What was it like before I was judged for worrying about Vince, all because people "don't get it"?
What was it like when he was working?
What was it like when he was working and I would have to coax, urge, and beg for him to pull to the side of the road or to the 7-11 to treat a low while he was driving?
What was it like before the CGM? When I was his human CGM "weak-o-meter" as I was called.
What was it like to be so scared about the glucagon needle?
What would it be like if Vince wasn't diabetic?
What would it be like to not worry about Vince if he happened to miss the phone when I called?
What would it be like without the retinopathy, neuropathy, and hypoglycemia unawareness?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
A Look Inside...
A look inside a Type 1 Diabetic's wife's purse. Tums and Chapstick for me...and Diabetic supplies for him...
Monday, February 25, 2013
Anxiety Plays A Bigger Part Than I Thought
Last week was tough for me. Vince was sick with a nasty cold and was extremely drowsy. That started on Sunday. On Monday morning, I took him to the doctor. By Tuesday, I had completely lost it. I was so stressed, I cried all day at work. I must have called my brother in law at least twice last week in tears. I think my supervisor/friend got a tearful episode as well. By Wednesday, into Thursday, I was starting to think a little more clearly. I realized that although I have a lot on my plate, it's not as bad as it could be. I think my Anxiety and my constant worrying magnify our situation. The thing is, I don't always acknowledge this until after the fact. Better late than never I suppose. By the time I calm down, I get so embarrassed and apologetic at whoever got the wrath of my tears.
I need to start acknowledging that although I have a lot on my plate, that is no question, that I also have a severe Anxiety issue. I need to remember that if I am having an exceptionally hard day or week, that I need to take a step back and think about the real issue at hand. Is it all being overwhelmed by my care taking tasks, or is it an Anxiety attack. Through it all, last week I was visiting with some great friends and talked about my issues with them more than usual. I think we have more people in our corner than I realized and it's a great feeling.
I need to start acknowledging that although I have a lot on my plate, that is no question, that I also have a severe Anxiety issue. I need to remember that if I am having an exceptionally hard day or week, that I need to take a step back and think about the real issue at hand. Is it all being overwhelmed by my care taking tasks, or is it an Anxiety attack. Through it all, last week I was visiting with some great friends and talked about my issues with them more than usual. I think we have more people in our corner than I realized and it's a great feeling.
Monday, February 18, 2013
These Are The Days I Feel There Is Too Much Weight On My Shoulders
It's Sunday night. Vince says he thinks he should go to the doctor. His ear hurts. It must be an infection. So I call my supervisor, who is the most understanding boss (and friend) I could ask for. I let her know I will be in late tomorrow morning. No problem she says.
Monday morning. I wake up around 8:30AM on my own. I haven't been sleeping very well the past few nights. I wait until 9AM and call the doctor for an appointment. We get an appointment for 11AM. Around 10AM I go to wake Vince up and let him know about the appointment. He is having a very drowsy morning. He gets up and gets dressed only to sit down and sleep on the couch while I put his shoes and socks on and get him ready to leave. We leave soon and he dozes off once again in the car. He was so drowsy that at one point he woke up during the drive and thought I was driving to my work. When we get to the office, we have a seat in the waiting room. He dozes off again. Soon we are taken back to the room to wait for the doctor. He steps up on the table and has a seat. I take a seat in the room as well. He sits there, falling in and out of sleep as I watch him hoping he doesn't literally fall off the table as he sways back and forth in his sleep. I hear the doctor coming towards our room so I quickly wake him up so she doesn't see. She checks him out and gives him a script and we are on our way. We went to the pharmacy next door and then got back into the car, where he promptly dozes off again. Once we are home, he gets back into bed, I put drops in his ear and off snoring he goes back to sleep.
After I have some lunch, I am off to work for a half day. I am left feeling stressed out. The thing that makes these situations even worse is that I try to wake him up during the "dozing off" periods and his usual response is either "I'm okay" or "I'm awake" Now both of those just frustrates me even more. No your not okay, your about to fall off the table, or where ever you happen to be because your sleeping sitting up. Also, no your not awake. I can see you sleeping, head and body bobbing back and forth as you do so.
So to end this venting of a post: I HATE NEUROPATHY MEDICATIONS AND HOW THEY CHANGE WHO HE IS. This is not him. Days like this, I feel like I lost him in there somewhere and I just want my normal Vince back.
Monday morning. I wake up around 8:30AM on my own. I haven't been sleeping very well the past few nights. I wait until 9AM and call the doctor for an appointment. We get an appointment for 11AM. Around 10AM I go to wake Vince up and let him know about the appointment. He is having a very drowsy morning. He gets up and gets dressed only to sit down and sleep on the couch while I put his shoes and socks on and get him ready to leave. We leave soon and he dozes off once again in the car. He was so drowsy that at one point he woke up during the drive and thought I was driving to my work. When we get to the office, we have a seat in the waiting room. He dozes off again. Soon we are taken back to the room to wait for the doctor. He steps up on the table and has a seat. I take a seat in the room as well. He sits there, falling in and out of sleep as I watch him hoping he doesn't literally fall off the table as he sways back and forth in his sleep. I hear the doctor coming towards our room so I quickly wake him up so she doesn't see. She checks him out and gives him a script and we are on our way. We went to the pharmacy next door and then got back into the car, where he promptly dozes off again. Once we are home, he gets back into bed, I put drops in his ear and off snoring he goes back to sleep.
After I have some lunch, I am off to work for a half day. I am left feeling stressed out. The thing that makes these situations even worse is that I try to wake him up during the "dozing off" periods and his usual response is either "I'm okay" or "I'm awake" Now both of those just frustrates me even more. No your not okay, your about to fall off the table, or where ever you happen to be because your sleeping sitting up. Also, no your not awake. I can see you sleeping, head and body bobbing back and forth as you do so.
So to end this venting of a post: I HATE NEUROPATHY MEDICATIONS AND HOW THEY CHANGE WHO HE IS. This is not him. Days like this, I feel like I lost him in there somewhere and I just want my normal Vince back.
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