How come no matter how much you try to explain, people just don't understand? They don't understand the BG checks at 2AM, the highs and pumping insulin into you through a machine desperately trying to get it down so you feel better, the extreme lows and horrible effects it has on the body, the eating when you don't want to, the 24/7 painful shocks in the limbs, living in fear of things that normal people don't even think twice about, and trying to just be happy all the while sitting home everyday because you can barely do anything anymore, let alone trying to work. It frustrates me that people can't understand this. I know it's hard to understand when you don't live it day to day but it still frustrates me. People just don't understand the effects that diabetes and other medications has on people. Some medications do things to you that you don't like, makes you act a little crazier and nuttier than you may normally act, but you know you have to stick it out because it is the only thing that is helping.
Well this is the story of my husbands life, starting a few years ago. Sure, people say they understand, but they don't. They don't understand my husband and they don't understand me. My fears and worries that I have for him. I guess I can't expect people to understand it, but part of me does. Part of me wants to scream to the world, our life sucks, but we make the best of it. We do as much as we can to keep a smile on our faces day after day no matter what is handed to us. I thank God everyday that we have each other. Sure my life would be very different if Vince were not in my life, but the same goes for him. We would be very different people if we didn't have each other. We are each others, other half. When one is pulled down, the other one can always pull them back up. I am so thankful for that.
I just wish people could understand us a little better, but I know that is not the reality of the Diabetic and Neuropathy world.
Oh, Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteit is so hard,
you are correct,
it is difficult for you and for him
people just don't get it
like so many things
they may be able to understand a single episode
but day after day, night after night?
not so much
when they love us, they try
but its like so many things in life
until you walk in those shoes, its really hard to know what it feels like
when they are friends -- or just people we meet -- its not even that good
but as you say, you have each other
and now you have us -- on these blogs
it is really helpful
20 years ago, I didn't have that
I remember shivering
wondering how I would get through the night
how he would get through the night
we didn't have the monitoring available today
when he went low at 2 am, my only choice was 911
and I felt guilty for calling them
my husband would get so upset when I did call them
it embarrassed him
so I dealt with it in silence and alone
it was a secret
it sounds like you are dealing with it in a healthier manner
stick with it
Thanks for your kind words :) means so much. I have slept with one eye open for a very long time after a 911 late night episode (it's in one of my earlier posts) I know I go on and on about it but the CGM was the best thing I could have ever asked for . Now the only time it is not on him, is in the 2 hour warm up on a sensor change. It is on him 24/7 and I am thankful for that. I rave about it every second I can get :) I love the doc. Not even my therapist could calm my nerves and my frustrations. But the doc has done that :)
ReplyDeleteThis is why connecting with others is so important. I found other authors on the Internet and we support each other...I found other adoptive moms (I have one adopted child) on the Internet and we support each other...I found others with thyroid disease and Hashimoto's disease and we support each other...so it was a natural inclination for me to reach out to others who are married to diabetes and yes WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER...because others who don't walk our walk really don't and maybe can't get it. HUGS and LOVE...I find that true with the other situations I mentioned. I gather strength from connecting to those who DO get it. LOVE YA
ReplyDeleteOh Sandy..."me too"...in a different way...but "me too". The DOC has been such a huge part of why I am coping so well these days. I think the lonliness in living a life that is somewhat different on so many levels is what bothered me the most after Joe's diagnosis. It is so difficult to explain and then to feel heard. xoxo
ReplyDelete(((HUGS))) Please know...I GET IT! I know how it feels to be in your shoes but only as a parent. I have soooooo much love and respect for you to be able to journal your journey as a spouse. Keep it up!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, ur the best :) xoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeletePs, obviously I was having a moment yesterday while writing that ;)
ReplyDeleteoh i know.. i know and i know.... *hugs*
ReplyDelete