Friday, September 14, 2012

Newly Diagnosed Feeling........

So much of the time, I feel like I am a newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic. Weird, right? Maybe that is why I feel connected with so many of the Type 1 Moms I “meet”  with young children. You see, although I have known my husband for 10 years, it wasn’t until the last 3-5 years that he really needed me to be more involved with his care. All of his care. I say 3-5 years because it was over time as his complications arose, that he needed more and more assistance to do things. So in the beginning when we first met, I learned what I did about who he was and about Diabetes, but didn’t give it much thought or concern. I knew he had this for a very long time and knew that he knew what he was doing. There was no need for me to worry or help in the sense I do now. I have said this before, but I think the day all of that changed for me was when he passed out at 2AM one night from a low and went unconscious in bed next to me. I awoke to him shaking uncontrollably. (I posted about this in a much earlier post) That was the scariest thing I had ever been through. I may have been involved before then, but that was my wake-up call and the one time that I can say truly changed my role as a Vince’s wife.

So why do I feel like a newly diagnosed Type 1? Well, I give shots, prepare the pump and CGM, inject the infusion sets and sensors, make sure I am home if I know his pump is almost out of insulin and he needs me to change his site, order medications and organize our “pharmacy”, watch for highs and lows while Vince is awake (due to the side effects of his neuropathy medications) AND asleep, give bolus’ in the middle of the night and coax food into a sleeping body during a confused low, check on him throughout the day to be sure he is ok, keep a spare meter and supplies in my purse along with Glucagon, make sure when we are leaving the house for an hour or for a weekend that he has his supply bag with him, and probably a lot of other things that have slipped my mind at the moment. It’s as if I am the diabetic except the needles and numbers are not my own.

All of this is new in a sense to me. Vince hasn’t expressed the need to connect with other Diabetics for support like I have. He has lived with this disease almost since birth so he doesn’t feel different. He feels normal (aside from the neuropathy but that is an entirely different subject) Not like me. Although it has been 10 years, it is still new to me. The care I am now giving him is new to me and I am still in the stage where I don’t feel normal. This life is not normal. The needles, the worry. The life threatening situations that are thrown at me (us) sometimes multiple times a day. It is not my normal. But truth be told, every day that passes, it feels more normal than the last.

I am so lucky to have Vince. He supports me and shows his appreciation for my taking care of him fairly often. We both know the situation we are in is not a good one and we both know it sucks. But I can’t think of a better person to be in it with. I love him more and more every day. I know that is so cliché but it’s the truth. He is my hero for dealing with what he does with such strength. He is truly my best friend, my teacher, my hero, my love, and so much more.

7 comments:

  1. What a powerful post, Sandy. Thanks so much for writing this and offering such insight and value about the feelings you (and likely many of our D-spouses) face every day. It's one thing to live with D from this side, but you're right in that it's a whole new thing to be on that side. And especially for those who've lived with it for most or all of our lives, it just doesn't seem any different than normal. Best your way and to Vince, of course!

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  2. I've never thought of it this way, but it's so true. I try to keep up with the DOC and learn the tips, products, and what happens around here. My hubby has no interest in learning or following any of this. It kind of feels like I'm doing it as if I have it and just explain it or execute it on him.

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  3. Well said. And then is becomes 20 years and 30 years and he is not so appreciative
    it can become so much more difficult
    you are one of the heroes, Sandy
    Vince is another
    it would be great if all stories were like yours (and frankly mine)
    but unfortunately its not always the case

    stay strong, and keep things in perspective
    its a gift

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  4. i love a good cliche Sandy...and I can completely see how you are able to connect with Mom's of T1's....you are an amazing woman!

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  5. Although it has been 10 years, it is still new to me. The care I am now giving him is new to me and I am still in https://www.rx247.net the stage where I don’t feel normal. This life is not normal.

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  6. As you are newly diabetes diagnosed and you have the great physician Vince. He supports you and shows his appreciation for you taking care of him fairly often. There are very rare physician who are such supportive. Thank you so much for sharing your experience in this article. nursing schools in southern california

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  7. Diabetes is one of the very severe diseases in world. Diabetes has correctly been labeled as the “silent epidemic” – its non-dramatic, insidious and chronic nature often masks the menace inflicted by the disease through death, incapacitation, and negative impact on quality of life of patients as they spend years coping with their life-changing affliction. Your blog post is very informative describing about this disease. Kinesio tape

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