Friday, September 6, 2013

This is One of Those Hard Times

This is one of those times when my guilt gets the best of me. This isn't the first time and since medical issues are involved, it won't be the last. But when this happens, I feel such extremely guilt. Fear even. So many emotions. You are probably asking what on earth could it be.

As I explained in my last few posts, we have had a very busy few weeks. Between vince being sick with bronchitis and the photo shoot and the doctor appointments, he is flat out exhausted. Well, we are supposed to go with our friend to New Jersey for a day trip tomorrow but Vince said he is just to worn out and tired to go.

It's not even that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. The rational side of me knows this.  The anxious and sensitive side of me doesn't know it. I have gotten so much grief in the past when Vince could not be at a specific event or gathering. My guilt takes over and I get so afraid people will be upset or even mad at us. I know there are rational reasons for him being limited. He does after all have more than a few chronic illnesses. I know this. But when other people don't understand the situation for what it is, it makes it so hard for me. I am a people pleaser. I just want to do what makes everyone else happy and approving.

Why do I let it get to me? I know the situation we have and what he is capable of. If other people don't understand, why does it get to me? I don't know. I am working working on it though. Working on not feeling guilty over so many things in life.

But I am happy to say that our dear friend, who is like a second Mom to me, is the sweetest, most understanding person I have ever known. I know she won't be upset but past experiences along with my silly guilty tendencies still make it hard when I feel like we are disappointing someone.

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