I am exhausted. Tired. Stressed. I don't know how to release it. The only thing that helps is to cry it all out. Cry out the stress and frustration. Stress from Vince's diabetes and neuropathy. Stress from buying our first house. Stress from trying to start a family. Stress of finding more medical problems along the way with Vince. Stress of a new job and being so busy at work that it stresses me even more. Stress of the freaking 7 days of straight rain and seeing Vince in bed all day from the pain. Stress of Vince being nauseous and not really knowing why other than maybe one of his meds causing it, maybe. Stress of Vince having headaches with no explanation except maybe his stress is causing them, maybe. How much more can I or even we take? I am tired. Tired of it all and tired of being tired. Tired of being annoyed by people who don't know the real me/us or don't understand me/us. Why does this make me mad? How could they know? They don't live my life. Why do I get mad when people who have young kids make comments to me like 'you have no idea how hard it is, just wait' you want to talk about hard? I know I have never had kids but I have a hard time believing it is harder than what I deal with. I stay up during the night. I wake up multiple times a night. I stress about another ones well being. I spend more time in doctors offices and hospitals than they probably do. I can't or won't leave Vince alone overnight or for to long without worrying (although for good reason) All this sounds similar to being a parent. I hate that people don't understand but I hate hating it even more. I am tired and worn out. I started a hobby. Crocheting. Sure it helps, but not enough. I started blogging. Sure it also helps, but not enough. What is the only thing that helps? When we get a break. A true break. One day of low grade pain and good numbers bring such a relief, even though it makes the next day ten times as hard when reality decides to shove it's way back into our home and life. I hate reality right now. It's not fair. I am married to the most loving man I could ask for. Why don't we ever get a break? He doesn't deserve this. We don't deserve this. If we are this happy in our marriage now, what would it be like to have a normal life? I can't imagine how much more wonderful our life would be. But no. We have what we have.