Friday, August 2, 2013

So Here We Are...

So where are we at these days… I have been wanting to post but it has been hard to come up with the right words.

Things are relatively calm. Calm for us at least. In the D world, we are currently focusing on cutting carbs and insulin in hopes of some weight loss, but it’s a long road, as any weight loss plan is. Vince’s Endocrinologist is great though. He is so reasonable. He saw about 8 pounds of weight loss and said how about 10 more by our next visit in 3-4 months. Vince said he thought that was a good place to start. I agree. So we have been focusing on low(er) carb meals and seeing how that helps.

My anxiety has been better due to a change in medication however I still worry. I don’t think the worry will ever stop. I am human after all. And female on top of that! LOL! I have been learning to lean on my supportive friends more, one of which is very near and dear to my heart. She has been amazing. She realized I need someone to just ask me how everything is once in a while. Just knowing someone is thinking about me is a huge relief. Relief in knowing I have one more person besides my brother in law to lean on in case of an emergency. I am not one to ask for help. I feel like, I just need to do X, Y, and Z and just get it done. It’s not that hard, I think to myself. But it catches up. I get stressed. Over whelmed. Then the simple tasks seem daunting to even think about let alone doing them.

We have been working hard to build a support system and I think it is finally paying off. We have the best Therapist.  We see him every few weeks. He is a great match for the two of us. He has the same sense of humor and really gets where we are coming from. Sometimes our visits are just chatting about the Phillies and asking how we are doing. Other times, if we are having a hard time, we talk it out. He has been a great person for Vince to talk to and open up to. Vince doesn’t open up very easily. But between the therapist and his brother, Vince seems to be doing good at expressing himself. Of course, if he is quiet, I am quick to think something is wrong. Why is he quiet? What is he thinking? But I am trying to take a step back and look at the big picture to see if it’s me being overly concerned or if it is a real issue. Usually, nothing major is wrong, so I am learning. Learning how to deal with all the different stresses we have going on and learning how to lean on the people I do have instead of focusing on the people I don’t have.

“Cleaning House” is tough. I think everyone comes to a point in their life where they have to reanalyze the people in their life and who is making it better and who may be “toxic” It is a very long, sad process but sometimes you have to do it for your own happiness. I am learning to find the people in life that see us for who we are and accept us without judgment. People that want to be there for us for support and people who care if we are having a rough time. It’s a long process but I am starting to finally feel good about it.

Well that is about all the updates. Just trying to take one day at a time as usual and trying to see the positive in life as often as we can.

1 comment:

  1. Dealing with a spouse's medical issues plus your own anxiety problems is a lot to take on. You seem to be doing it with a fair amount of grace and dignity. Good on you!