I have been looking forward to my weekends very much so lately. I have not been sleeping too well due to Vince being in pain at night along with blood sugar lows at the same time. I am feeling very overwhelmed and not getting good sleep is not helping the situation. Vince has also been having a hard time with his nausea caused from one of his medications which is making him even more miserable. I finally called the doctor about it and he suggested weaning him down a bit to see if that helps. Of course, this is the one medication, aside from the pain meds, that helps him, so we don’t want to wean him down too much. We have tried cutting his morning dose in half since his nausea is worse during the day and that has helped that past few days, so we will continue that for now.
Vince and I have started seeing a therapist to help each of deal with the stress we are under. I feel like I complain a lot. Well, I have a lot to complain about, but when I vent to others, I feel like I am just complaining and I don’t like that. We have seen the therapist once so far and explained what each of us would like to work on. We will probably only see her once every two weeks or so. I really think this will help Vince as well as myself in all that we are dealing with, but I personally need more venting time than once every two weeks. We had to chuckle a bit at our appointment. When making the appointment, they assumed we wanted to be seen separately and I had to explain that we wanted to be seen together. It wasn’t until we were both in the office that they realized that our marriage wasn’t the issue and what was causing the problems. In fact, despite it all, as I always say, we get along great! We are both just having some trouble dealing with the stress that each of us have on both sides of the situation. Between caring for Vince, working full time, and worrying about our finances, I am just wiped out and tired. I try to take on as much as I can because Vince does all he can just to deal with the excruciating pain day after day. The therapist actually made a point that neuropathic pain is the worst chronic pain you can have. Vince just shook his head and agreed and I thought in my head how horrible this is. I just want it to go away!
I have been trying to take more time for myself although it is not easy for me to want to get away. I feel like I am gone so much during the week and I hate to leave Vince sitting home on the weekends too, just so I can have me time, although I know it is needed. I have been getting my nails done about once a month which takes about an hour or two so I don’t feel too guilty or worry too much while I am there. The place I go to get the manicure and pedicure is so relaxing and so nice. Granted, I hate spending an extra $30 a month to relax but it is worth it to clear my mind for a day.