Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Diabetes is not fair to relationships. That statement can mean so many things but I am speaking of the emotional side to relationships. I feel that I cannot be mad or upset with Vince for any extended period of time. This would be mostly when I am not with him, such as on a work day or when he is sleeping. Why am I afraid to stay annoyed or mad? Well, in my mind, the following examples arise. What if we go to sleep mad or upset or annoyed and something happens in his sleep and he doesn’t wake up? What if I am at work and I am annoyed at him and I don’t make sure it is resolved and something happens to him by the time I get home? This is pretty silly, but it is a true feeling inside me. Granted, we don’t fight too often and when we do, we are generally quick to resolve the situation, but the thought is still in the back of my mind. I suppose it goes back to one of my previous posts of feeling paranoid that something is always going to go wrong with him. I think having had a few bad episodes (or situations) in the past has made me feel this way. Thinking before some of those times, I don’t remembering being paranoid about these things.