Thursday, April 7, 2011

An Early Start to the Day

So I am awaken at 4:30AM by Mr. Beeps. I try desperately to turn on the back light of the pump but failed. I got out of bed, and flicked on the light. Low Battery and low sugar. Great...okay so I go to the kitchen, grab a butter knife and a battery and head back to the bedroom. Sounds like a horror story! I change the battery out and look at the sensor numbers. Yup, dropping low. The sensor read 88 and falling with active insulin, so I got up and tried to wake Vince. He opened his eyes and I told him he was going low and I shoved a glucose tablet in his mouth and proceeded to yell "eat it, chew it, don't choke!" over and over until he caught until he on and chewed. I asked him over and over, (or more like demanded) and kept shaking up until he came too, why he had active insulin at this hour of the morning and he wouldn't answer me. I got out his tester, and pricked his finger: 73. I yelled, "your not that weak! Answer me!!!!" I went to the kitchen again and this time got a cup of ice tea for him to gulp down. I brought it to him and told him to drink fast. He gulped down the entire cup in a few minutes and I started again. "why do you have active insulin?!" he finally said it was because he was high when he went to bed and that he must have overcorrected. This is a big thing with Vince. Overcorrecting. With all of his complications, he overcorrects because he is afraid of being to high, and then we have lows to deal with. Anyway, I asked him why he wasn't answering me even though he wasn't that weak. He then explained that since he hasn't been weak in a little while, the 73 hit him harder than usual. Then the tears started. His first, then mine. I asked him what in the world was wrong. He said he knows taking care of him is a full time job of mine and he doesn't like being sick. He doesn't like that I have to take care of him and wonders why I married him. This is when my tears started. I am thinking in my head, "what can I say to that, to make it all better" I just told him that I love him and that is why I do it and that is why I married him. I asked him how HE puts up with ME while I am yelling at him. Although I am not yelling at him. I am yelling at the stupid situation that is no ones fault really, except D. All I could do was hug him and tell him it is what it is and we will get through it. What else can I say? so I finally calm him enough and he falls back to sleep. The light got turned off somewhere in the crying and I lay back down but of course my mind gets the best of me when I am trying to go to sleep so I just think and think. How none of this is fair. I figure if I get out of bed and write it down, then maybe I can clear my mind and get a little more sleep before going to work. Well it is now 5:30AM so I am going to go to bed and try to rest.


  1. Yikes. What a way to wake up. It sounds like you got everything under control in record time. I hope you were able to get a little more rest before the alarm went off.

    I pray tonight is better.

  2. Yep got two more hours ;) thanks

  3. Sandy,
    my heart is breaking for you
    it happens a lot on these sites

    I have been where you are so many times
    (although Tom does not thank me or cry like Vince)

    but with Tom it always seemed to be 2 am
    I could almost never go back to sleep afterwards

    he would fall into a deep almost catatonic sleep
    I would be checking on him every few minutes
    to be sure he was still breathing

    it was awful

    but you are a much better partner than me also
    I wouldn't do all of the testing and checking

    also, back then, we didn't have the monitors or other tools we have today

    AND, I would normally not notice his low until it was so much lower -- like below 50.....

    so please know that we are with you
    our hearts, our minds, and our thoughts
    Vince is doing his best and so are you
    this is a horrible disease
    and we are all in it for the long haul
    its all we can do
    and at the end of it all,
    all we can do is try to get some sleep

  4. I always watch Vince sleeping to make sure he is still breathing. If I can't tell, then I put my hand on him to be sure he is. :(