Thursday, April 7, 2011

What Is The Right Response?

I heard the words today that I didn’t think I would ever have to hear or respond to. Words that many of my DOC friends kid’s say. I always say since Vince was diagnosed as a baby, he says he knows no other life, so being Diabetic doesn’t stress him like it may others. Well today is different. Today, he finally told me what he has been holding in. He is a very quiet and private person with his feelings. When something huge is bothering him, he holds it in until I drag it out of him. If it concerns me, he is usually more verbal about it, but if it is personal, he doesn’t always tell me right away. Today he actually told me he is tired of being Diabetic. I didn’t know what to say. It was on the phone. I just sat there as the tears welled up in my eyes. What do you say to that? How do you respond and make it all better? I was running through my brain for the right response and all I could come up with was, “I know”. I think all of his complications are finally getting the best of him. Between his poor eye sight and the neuropathy pain with numbness and muscle weakness, let alone the day to day care of the Diabetes, I think he is just overwhelmed. Although he has been Diabetic, practically since birth (we are actually trying to find out EXACTLY how old he was, as he has always been told about 6 months and I will share when we know) he has never had to deal with the complications on top of the daily care until recent years. I wish I could just take it all away or say it will only last another week and then it will be over. Like the flu. But no. This will last a lifetime. The good thing is some days are better than others. It may not and probably will not be this bad forever. I am sure, as with all things, his body will change, and the neuropathy will change and hopefully it will be for the better. That is what I try to remind him of. He is so strong but when everything piles up on him, or certain things happen in his life, he is reminded of his struggles and it all comes crashing down. I guess he can’t be strong 100% of the time. I wish he could, but he isn’t Superman, is he? He is my Superman. He is always strong for me, but it shouldn’t be like that. He needs to be strong for himself.


  1. Oh, Sandy, I'm so sorry
    it is SO HARD!
    yes, there are days when he realizes that it is forever
    I think we realize it every single day
    but we all try to ignore it sometimes
    we all try to get by in a semi-normal life
    we try to deal with the issues
    and then, you are right, the reality comes crashing in

    we hate it
    and we try to deal with it
    we try to help with it
    but in the end.
    it is their disease
    it is our disease
    and we are happy to fight the good fight with them
    if they will let us in.....

  2. Oh Sandy...I can just feel the pain of those words and the stinging tears in your eyes. I hope too that the neuropathy will lessen a bit soon so that he doesn't feel so overwhelmed by "D" and the medical carnage that accompanies it.

    (((HUGS))) and thank you for your thoughtful comment yesterday. I appreciate it.

  3. His expressing it may be the best thing he could have done instead of keeping it to himself.
    You are the BEST! HUGS AND inspire me

  4. oh gosh. sadness. overwhelmingly. my son was 8months old. has your husband ever gotten tested for monogenic causes of diabetes? email me if you are interested, we could chat on facebook. he is lucky to have you!