Thursday, April 14, 2011

My Frustrations

I thought this may be a good way for me to vent. Why do I have all these frustrations? It just isn't fair. Life's not fair, to say the least? Definitely not fair:

1. Not being able to cuddle, hug, or hold hands with my husband because of his nerve pain
2. Watching my husband in pain 24/7/365
3. People not understanding us and our difficult life
4. Not having enough energy to do the dishes in the sink, the laundry, or cleaning the house
5. Getting the same amount of sleep some nights as a new mom with an infant
6. The constant worry of my husbands numbers and general health
7. The financial strain of Diabetes and it's complications and coming up with any amount of money it takes to make Vince either healthier and/or more comfortable
8. Being mad at Diabetes and Neuropathy and taking it out on the hubby even though it's not him, it's the medical issues
9. The drowsiness Vince has from all of the pain controlling medications
10. Having to be smarter and more knowledgable than some doctors, grrrrr

There are many more, but luckily, I am in a good mood tonight, and when that happens, I can't think of them all, but who is complaining :) I will add more when I think of them.


  1. so true, life is not fair
    sometimes it is downright crappy
    but I guess we could have it worse
    it could be his fault
    he could be having an affair!
    he could be a total jerk AND have diabetes!

  2. Lol too funny. But yes, in all seriousness, I always remind him and myself that it can always be worse...

  3. Sandy,
    When it comes to diabetes, life is really NOT fair. Reading your blog, I have wondered how you ever get any sleep, let alone still go to work in the morning! And yes, Tom's Wife is right: things could be worse, which is something I guess we all have to remember.
    Take time to be good to yourself, and realize that you ARE an amazing woman!

  4. I have often remembered by life when my boys were young when you post. They were VERY demanding babies and young children. At one point it had been five years before I slept through a single night.

    You have every reason to have anger. You are wise for your years to realize it is not Vince's fault. I admire you for that.

    I wish there was some way for you to carve out a little time for yourself. Maybe a few hours a week to take up kick boxing. I know a few women who do it. They love it! All the anger they have in their lives they take out on the "Bag".

    Hang in there Sandy and use this forum to vent.


  5. My anger for the situation only comes out when D "acts up" like when we have to do a site change before dinner or just as I am about to go to bed. Or when he needs help with something that his nerve pain prevents him from doing. Sometimes I just get so frustrated and then I feel bad about it. I always tell him I am sorry for getting frustrated. I feel bad. It's not his fault....

  6. The "affair" comment was kinda funny.

    Yep, I hear you...if I sat down and wrote a list...I have no idea how long and detailed it would be. It would encompass almost every aspect of life and then the worries of morbidity and mortality. I think it would shove me right into a funk...

    I've gotten frustrated with Joe too...not his fault and I quickly remedy my actions...but it is hard always staying in "check" and directing the emotions at the appropriate target. xoxo

  7. Yes, my list is much bigger than the few I wrote down. We need a punching bag with a big D on it lol xoxo

  8. You're so very right, Sandy. I'm sorry it gets to this point for so many of us. I had one of those moments recently where a Low came at the worst possibly moment and screwed with me. And not the kind of way a guy might want in those ever-so-wonderful but not-yet-successful family planning stages. I got so angry after seeing my meter flash a 49 at me, and it took smashing a few drained juice boxes (with some yummy oreos) to regain my calm. Not that you really wanted to hear all my ranting on this... But while I was so mad, I can't even imagine how it plays with my wife's head. And not even on the neuropathy style of complications here. Yes, it could be worse. But that perspective doesn't take away the fact that it just plain sucks so much sometimes. I'm not dealing with much neuropathy or other complications, but my heart goes out to you and your hubby who are.

  9. Hey Michael, about your family planning comment, I hear ya!!! Stupid D has to ruin it all for us huh? Lol

  10. The family planning comments sometimes make me want to laugh and other times make me want to cry. Even though my husband is a compliant diabetic that is really healthy "family planning" doesn't always work. I carry a genetic trait for a serious disease and my husband is diabetic so we decided to adopt.

    I have cried out of frustration for diabetic complications in front of my husband. And then I always feel bad too. Sandy, your husband knows that you love him tons! And Michael, your wife loves you tons too! I chose to marry my husband knowing what could happen to him as he gets older. Just as all of you chose your spouses. They know we love them even when diabetes interfers!